Monday, March 31, 2008

day 60

Here it is, day 60. I'm counting calendar days since that is what my letter said. No determination and one horrible letter from USCIS with the possibility of another on its way.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

kick me when i'm down

Every post is starting to sound the same these days.  The positive thinking is not working.  Things suck!  I've gone from thinking it is going to take months to bring my daughter home to actually thinking it may never happen.  Why doesn't USCIS want me to adopt this baby?

I received an unpleasant email from my agency on Friday (just in time for the weekend) that I could have done without.  Today, I see on the Bring Our Children Home website that they are now listing my daughter's orphanage as a blocked location.  That means that the officials there are "not cooperating with the investigation."  They say I should expect a letter that is akin to the nasty one I received about the hospital where my daughter was born.  I've emailed my agency and the BOCH website for more details.  I don't know what else to do.  My daughter was born in a hospital that is allegedly not cooperating then moved to an orphanage that is allegedly not cooperating.  Basically, I'm screwed.  What doesn't make sense is that 7 families from my agency who were approved 2 weeks ago have babies who were born at my hospital.  And at least one family that got approved has a baby in my orphanage.  How did those investigations get completed?   Were they cooperating and then all of a sudden stop?  Did anyone even bother to investigate those cases or did they just sit on someone's desk for months?  How can I get answers to these questions?

Tomorrow marks 60 days waiting for approval.  I honestly don't know how much longer I can live though this wait. 

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

happy birthday baby girl!


Sadie is 10 months old today.  I'm sure the day passed for her like any other.  Not for me though.  I heard from Senator Boxer's office and Congressman Waxman's office today.  Both are looking into my case.  Here's hoping they can make something happen!  I am not giving up without a fight.  Do you hear that USCIS?  I'm not giving up!!

I hope Sadie is home in time for her first birthday.  What a celebration we will have! 


Sunday, March 23, 2008

happy easter!


I can't wait for Sadie to have her first Easter Egg hunt next year!

(thanks E for the great picture!)

Friday, March 21, 2008

no more tgif for me

I used to love Fridays.  I usually get to duck out of work a little early and rarely have to work on the weekend.  I get to sleep in, go shopping, see my friends and just relax.  Now when Friday comes it means if there is news to get about my case, it won't come until Sunday night at the earliest.  So I just get to stress and wait.  Can you believe this whole process has now ruined weekends for me.  Argh.

On a bright note, I decided to try to get tickets for the Duran Duran show in May.  The way things look now, I'll definitely still be childless and in town.  So I logged on to Ticketmaster at 10am to buy 3 tickets for me, my friend Y and her hubby.  I tried for a good 15 minutes while the system offered me the crappiest tickets.  Mezzanine row G, Orchestra row Z, Loge row A.  I wanted Orchestra seats, but the venue is sooo big, that row Z would be really far back.  I tried one more time and couldn't believe my eyes.  Orchestra row B.  My heart started to pound in my chest.  Was I reading this right?!  OMG.  I got 2nd row tickets to see Duran Duran!!!  Do you realize how close I will be to John Taylor?  I hope I can control myself and don't embarrass Y and T.  Now, if I do get to travel and can't attend the concert, I bet I can get a pretty penny for this amazing ticket! 

Thursday, March 20, 2008

is this really happening???

I know I'm not the world's greatest blogger, but I can't believe it has been nearly a month since my last post.  I thought things were bad then...they're worse now.  Families continue to wait and wait for I600 approval.  Now USCIS is sending awful and offensive letters to families saying that the Vietnamese officials in certain provinces and hospitals are not cooperating with the investigations so the investigations may result in denials.  I was the unlucky recipient of one of these letters Sunday night.  My agency gave folks a head's up that it was coming last Thursday morning and frankly, I've been a mess ever since.

I was trying to be zen and patient since I'm not at 60 days yet, but now I'm pissed.  This is not OK.  They can't treat us and our children like this.  So, what's a girl to do?  I started by writing letters to Senator Boxer, Senator Feinstein and Congressman Waxman.  I actually received a call from Waxman's office today but I just don't think they see things the way the adoptive parents do.  They seem to be buying everything USCIS is telling them so I don't know how much help they'll be.  They are, however, going to make an inquiry on my case so maybe they'll learn something I don't know.

Things at work are getting stressful.  I thought I'd be leaving in February or March.  Well, that didn't happen.  I truly have no idea when my approval will come through, or even if it will.  So trying to plan anything at work is extremely difficult.  Today I made the decision to plan meetings on April 16th and May 10th.  It sucked to come to the realization that I will probably still be at work for both of these meetings.

There is some good news, but not much.  Several families with my agency that have been waiting since November received approval this week.  This news made me very happy!  They will be holding their children any day now.  I received a few more pictures of Sadie that were taken when my agency director was there visiting.  She's just such a doll!  She's getting bigger and she looks really healthy. I also got a 2 1/2 minute video.  Unfortunately, she still is not smiling or laughing in any of the pictures or the video.  My agency director and the nannies were trying so hard to get her to smile in the video and she just wouldn't.  She's such a serious little girl.  It breaks my heart. 

Adoptive parents are banding together to see what they can do to end the delays and bring our children home.  There's a website where you can read all about the current situation and actions that are being taken.  The site is Bring Our Children Home.  If you haven't already visited the site, please do and be sure to sign their petition.  After you enter your name and email address it will ask for a donation, but donations go to ipetitions, not to the cause.  Donations are not required to sign the petition.

It's getting harder and harder to stay positive these days.  The slightest things sets me off and I just start crying.  I had a nightmare about my adoption last week that it still too painful to even think about.  In spite of everything, however, I still wake up every morning and check my email with a glimmer of hope that the good news will be there waiting for me.