Tuesday, June 17, 2008

138

Still nothing.  I don't think anyone can really understand what this wait is like if they are not going through it themselves.  Sadie will be 13 months old next Wednesday.  It was one thing to be under 60 days stressing about the wait.  I am now at twice that.  MORE than twice that.  It is so painful to know that Sadie is just sitting in an orphanage when she could be home.  How can anyone think this is in her best interest?  What could possibly be taking so long?  Is anyone even trying to resolve the block?  Sometimes I honestly think that nothing is being done and that CIS doesn't even care.  I truly believe that if they cared even one iota they would provide families with some tiny bit of information or hope.  But....we get nothing.

I've started moving forward with plans to get things done for when Sadie does come home.  This Friday the baby proofer is coming to do all the work.  Then, on July 3rd, the CHP is installing my car seat.  I thought doing these things would make everything seem more real and possibly distract me, but I'm starting to worry about what will happen if I do these things and I'm still waiting in 3, 4, 5 months.  It won't be easy driving around town in a car with a car seat and no Sadie.  But I guess nothing about this has been easy since March 16th (the day I received the Tu Du block letter). 

2 comments:

AllisonEvan said...

I heard this saying that the sky is darkest before the dawn breaks. I took it as meaning that it is hardest just before getting some good news.

XOOXOX
The wait sucks soooo bad. I know I can't possibly totally understand but I love you so much and am praying for both you and Sadie.

SHaron said...

I'm so sorry Grenda . . . I am going to send you an email.